There’s so many things inside my mind. Sometimes I don’t even know how to untangle.
I can feel the hatred.
It’s not me being “too sensitive”. I said it because I know some things changed.
They said they’ll help us. But I guess I don’t belong to “us”. Because they didn’t answer when I reached out to them. They didn’t even respond or say a thing. And I notice they detached themselves from my life.
Losing people isn’t really my favorite, moreover if I take them as friends before. But I guess I’m not their friend. Friends don’t go over a mistake. Friends tried to understand the whole situation, and even they weren’t, they will stick as long as we learn from the mistake.
I guess they are not my true friend.
I don’t really understand though, which one is making me upset more: losing people, or feeling misunderstood.
No one likes being ignored. My feelings are real too. My struggle and all the pain, it’s really there. And like him, even though everything has changed, life is getting better, and he’s not doing it anymore, the wound is still there and the trauma is real.
They can’t see that, or maybe, don’t want to see that. They see what they wanna see and believe, and I guess my pain isn’t that important because they have their “majestic” moral value of their own.
Such a holy world they lived in.
Should they be thankful to God, instead adding the pain to the unlucky one?
Both of us are the victims. We shared the pain, even it’s manifested in different things.
Both of us are struggling. We comforted each other and carry the consequences all the way here.
Then why is that only one of us get the cheer? Is the other just a joke or the only bad guy in the story? Do they think the other one is deserve the pain and the punishment?
Ouch, should have expect it from the wise and mature one :)
I just being too naive.
Really, for a specific range of time I’ve thought that THEY REALLY WANT TO HELP US.
*laughing in despair*
I’ve learnt.
I’m trying to accept it.
Now I know :)
